Get Out of my Bed Clark!
by Total Batman Obsession
Summary: This is just another Batman/Superman story It's just meant to be funny It is not slash, they're just friends As always I own nothing, DC does


I sigh and look up at the roof of the ship I created, the Javelin. Due to my apparent neglect of myself, my team has banished me to my bed to get some 'much needed sleep', the irony is I've pushed my limits much further and I call three days without sleep a monthly occurrence if needed. Regardless of what they think, I am not actually a fool; I know very well what sleep deprivation does to the human body. I do not avoid sleep for enjoyment; I do it when I believe it to be necessary.

Unforeseen circumstances mean we can't use heating for the return trip to earth, we used too much fuel and will not be able to make it home if we use the heating, this means I am trying to conserve body heat by curling up into a ball under several blankets. My brain decides to take advantage of the fact that I am no longer mobile or in a situation that requires me to use my brain a great deal and slowly shuts down…

"What is it Superman?" I'm awake in an instant and ready for whatever needs to be done…he's in my bed…why is he in my bed? His hand is on my shoulder requesting me to lie back down, I don't.

"Sorry B, didn't mean to wake you, go back to sleep," he lies down next to me, pulls his side of the blankets up to his shoulders and yawns. As I suspected earlier, the alien atmosphere must have been taking more of a toll on him than I thought, on a normal day he can go weeks without sleep, he's lucky we weren't under a red sun.

"Why aren't you in your own bed? I specifically calculated how many beds were needed so we would have enough for everyone," I tell him in what he considers my lecturing tone.

"You know how you like to be right?"

I know he can see my suspicious expression in the dark, where is he going with this…? I stay silent.

"Hal got sick, vomited all over his bed so I helped him clean it up and I told him he could use my bed," he doesn't sound angry, more disappointed that Hal didn't listen to my advice.

"I did a scan on what foods were safe for us to eat but apparently he takes a friendly looking aliens word over my own, despite my years of expertise; his dislike for me shouldn't lead him to second guessing my knowledge when it comes to the safety of our team, is he okay?"

"His system seems to have purged most of the food, I scanned him and I didn't see any permanent damage being done but he might have to stay in the tower for a couple of days."

I snort, serves him right.

"Thank you for bringing this to my attention, you can leave now," I tell him with finality as I lie down and turn my back to him. He doesn't move, seconds go by and he still hasn't moved, due to his body temperature being significantly warmer than mine, I begin to notice the bed warming up pleasantly, this irritates me more.

"You're not going to throw me out in the middle of the night are you?" He's pouting at me.

"Clark we are currently in space, there is no night or day at the moment, but if you want to go bunk up with someone go bunk up with Hal, he's the one who stole your bed," I am starting to get annoyed with him.

"Why would I want to sleep with Hal? He smells of vomit Bruce and I have a highly sensitive nose," his attempt to try and extract sympathy from me through whining doesn't work.

"You are the one who gave him your bed; you should have made him clean up the vomit and told him to sleep there," I try and push him out of the bed but he doesn't budge, his hands grab both of mine and begin to rub warmth back into them.

"Your hands are freezing," his voice matches one of concern, but I roll my eyes and take them back, trying not to miss the warmth.

"Get out of my bed Clark!" I stare at him in the darkness with a piercing gaze I know he can see.

"Is there something so wrong with sharing a bed?" He sounds like he really doesn't care that we are two fully grown males under the covers in a double bed, is he really this innocent or is he really not bothered by it?

"Yes there really is something wrong with us sharing a bed, now I am not repeating myself again, get out!" I shout at him but he's not intimidated.

"Where am I supposed to sleep?"

"I don't know, go to Diana?"

"Oh no, I am not sleeping next to anyone you've dated, you get jealous and besides people could get the wrong idea," I look at him with complete disbelief.

"Clark, get out of my bed please," I tell him after taking a deep breath and making my voice pleasant.

"No!" He's back to whinging at me.

"Can't you go sleep somewhere else? Why does it have to be next to me?"

"Because, Diana is a good friend but she's also a woman, I like Flash but he's a sleep talker, I probably wouldn't feel comfortable sharing a bed with him or anyone else anyway and that leaves you, my best friend."

"I definitely should have ditched you in the fifth grade, unfortunately that's about the time you learnt Klingon," I can tell he's not impressed with my pun.

"Klingon because I like to Cling on to people, I'm sorry B but that was bad!" He shakes his head and laughs.

"My expertise is not in writing puns."

"Well I am very glad because your sleep deprived brain is terrible at coming up with them," his voice is full of amusement; I know he's smiling at me.

"You're the writer; you come up with something better on the spot," I slap his arm playfully.

"As Lois says, inspiration cannot be forced but will come when it's needed," his voice becomes strong but extremely feminine when he quotes Lois.

"Please stop using other people's voices," I groan at him but he laughs at me.

"You weren't complaining when I pretended to be you to get you out of hot water," he reminds me smugly.

"That was different and I could have used J'onn," I retort.

"But you didn't, now why is that...?" he pretends to think.

"Stop trying to think up reasons that aren't there and go to sleep!" I growl at him.

"Oh so I can stay?" His voice is teasing, I roll my eyes.

"I've asked you to leave several times, you've refused, I can't force you out therefore I am done wasting my breath," I turn away from him.

"Why didn't you sleep at all on the planet?" He asks me curiously and of course with a touch of concern, I turn around to face him again.

"I knew our stay was very limited, this meant I could ensure the League's safety as well as help the planet to the best of my ability without having to risk fainting at an inopportune time. If I had of slept, like the rest of you, I wouldn't of had the time to figure out the motivations of this planet and the planet they were feuding with, as well as come up with a plan for peace and make sure our team was safe in the process."

"You don't have to do all that B, we have a team for a reason."

"If I have a chance to make sure all of us are safe, whilst not compromising the mission, I'll do it, three days is nothing to me Clark."

"The bags under your eyes tell a different story, get some sleep B, you've earned it, I'll go if you want me to."

I turn my back to him for the last time.

"You can stay, the planet's atmosphere was getting to you, I could tell, just don't touch me or hug me or you're out."

"I'll hug you in the morning," he turns his back to me and I hope he doesn't notice when I edge towards him a little for warmth.

I yawn. "No you won't," nearly back to back, I think he raised his temperature.

"Yes I will, in front of the League, we can have a group hug," so warm, so sleepy.

"No you won't or I won't invite you to dinner on Fridays anymore."

"Private hug?"

"That's acceptable; just make sure its somewhere where there are no cameras."


End file.
